Review: The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry

Having recently graduated from university with an English Literature degree, the last three years of my life have been dedicated to wading through Wordsworth, deciphering DeLillo and labouring over Lawrence. Only now have the second hand collections of Dickens been neatly filed onto heaving bookshelves in my wardrobe, the Bronte sisters resigned to the university library, have I made an avid return to the chart fiction which first sparked my love of literature.

My first port of call was a book which dominated last year's commendable parade of popular fiction. Rachel Joyce's quirky debut novel The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry bagged its author the UK National Book Award for New Writer of the Year whilst also scooping a top 12 place at the Man Booker Awards.

Whilst wildly speculating about the deep and meaningful purpose of disembodied clothing in Woolf succinctly crammed into 3000 words prevented me from venturing into Joyce's novel at the time, post-graduation boredom quickly directed me towards this charming novel.

Opening with the staid retired life of an aging Devonshire couple, The Unlikely Pilgrimage kicks off with a letter. News that an old friend is dying in the distant North, causes Harold Fry's initial stroll to the post office to evolve into an epic trek across the length of Britain, a staggering feat of faith and optimism in the belief that his efforts will save cancer-stricken Queenie.

"Unlikely" is certainly the right word here-- verging on implausible the novel offsets the dubious image of an aging hero armed only with his faithful yachting shoes with the pure charm of his journey as Harold potters between familiar and quintessentially English landscapes. Perhaps more important than the journey is the rich cast of characters Harold meets, their often tragic and heartfelt stories creating a poignant tension between what could otherwise be a sickly-sweet tale of tooth-ache worthy proportions; the most valuable element of Joyce's writing talent clearly lies in this wryly observed cast.

Although the archaic nature of Harold's modern "pilgrimage" -- delightfully complimented by the old-fangled style map at the start of the book-- could easily lay the way for a rambling fairy tale, Joyce beautifully weights the journey with Harold's old memories, unravelling a far deeper side to the snippet of middle-aged life we spotted at the Fry's breakfast table. Marriage, parenting and rejection all play a key part to the steady development of character tantalisingly and richly revealed throughout Harold's travels. Just avoiding what could have been a tired metaphor, Harold's spiritual journey is perfectly and insightfully unpacked alongside his physical travels.

The true wonder of Joyce's impactful novel is the fine line she walks between the quaintness and sheer optimism of the novel, and her absolute honestly when facing up to the realities which lie behind Harold's walk. Evasion becomes a poignant theme as we realise that even the most heroic of actions can be a method of avoiding the baser and truer facts of life.

However, it's not all doom and gloom; Joyce also does a relatively good job of lightly mocking the twenty-first century cult of celebrity culture, focusing the latter part of the novel on Harold's colourful followers. Unfortunately, these chapters do feel somewhat rushed, as Harold spends over half the novel laboriously struggling across Devon, yet leaps through most of the Midlands in a single sentence. Resultantly, these characters emerge significantly more two-dimensional than they could have been. Whilst this manages to pass off suitably well as reflecting Harold's own increasing distance from anything but his own journey, a little more development could have deepened a rather staid section of the novel which is almost skimmable.

Nevertheless, the overriding tension of what lies at the end of Harold's journey manages to keep the story flowing despite a fairly significant pre-finale dip. Thankfully, Joyce does not disappoint, delivering an excellent conclusion weighted with all the poignancy and heart needed from a novel of such unfathomable optimism and whimsical charm.

Escapism with an edge, The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry is sweet and touching light reading. More gritty than your average summer read and with just enough lightness of heart to bring a smile to the darkest moments Harold Fry is a highly recommended read.

Porn vs Reality or why "Hustler" Should Never Have Messed With "Girls."

Lena Dunham as Hannah with on/off onscreen partner Adam

News this week emerged that one of my favorite TV programmes, HBO's "Girls" is soon to be adapted into the raunchy porn film "This Ain't Girls XXX."

Word reached me via Girl's creator Lena Dunham's indignant tweet this morning.

"Okay, I wracked my brain to articulate why I can't just laugh off a porn parody of Girls and here are 3 reasons:" stated Dunham "1. Because Girls is, at its core, a feminist action while Hustler is a company that markets and monetizes a male's idea of female sexuality. 2. Because a big reason I engage in (simulated) onscreen sex is to counteract a skewed idea of that act created by the proliferation of porn. 3. Because it grosses me out. It's important to me to be honest about the complexities of having that out in the world. Love, Lena (porn name: Murray Broadway)"

Having already briefly discussed my views on porn here, the idea of what I consider to be a highly feminist and brilliant programme got me thinking. Admittedly, "Girls" showcases more than its fair share of risque scenes. In fact, in true porn style, a recent scene depicted one minor character being ordered to crawl around on the floor by her partner before showing a cringingly vivid cum-shot. It's perhaps this kind of action which caused "This Ain't Girls XXX" creators Hustler to comment that the often sexualised basis for the show made it easy to adapt into a porn film with apparently minimal changes.

But here's where the problem lies; adapting a mainstream TV show into a porn film involves one fairly major change: the eradication of "Girls"' feminist voice. Sex in "Girls" is as complicated as it is frequently filthy. The show's characters both assert control over their bodies and occasionally lose it, as they use sex to make sense of the confusing world of mid-twenties womanhood. In one episode, the increasingly purposeless central character Hannah engages in a twenty-four hour fling with a married doctor in a poignant parody of the stable life she craves as she descends into OCD. In another, best friend Marnie clearly doesn't enjoy her vividly depicted sex scene with an artist. Sex in the show is a complex female centered vision, sometimes engaged in with gusto by the show's women, and other times awkward, emotional or strikingly highlighting sexual imbalances.

For "Girls," graphic depiction of sex is a vision of female bodily control and reclamation. It dispels romanticised images of sex so frequently marketed by TV in favour of realism in all forms; brilliant and horrific.

Although I've stated many times in this blog that I don't have a problem with porn as a concept, I can't imagine Hustler's X-rated adaption holding anywhere near the same difficult intensity with which Girl's engages with sex. Converse to Dunham's starkly honest depiction of sex, porn canvases a vision of sex based purely on fantasy. And not just fantasy; this is an illusion rooted in magnified imaginations of male-centric power structures. A total opposition to the female empowered sex of "Girls," porn objectifies women using degrading images to create a microcosmic picture of the patriarchal thought that inherently pervades Western culture. Although shows like "Girls" show that feminism has come a long way, desires which emerge in pornography depict how deeply misogyny is embedded.

I don't necessarily think that the images and themes emerging in porn have to be problematic, and of course, I would never suggest that anyone who wants to should stop watching it. As far as I'm concerned, as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult, you have the freedom to completely make your own choices concerning what you do or watch. Furthermore, I'm fully aware that there's lots of porn out there that doesn't buy into this patriarchal imagination. However, what's important is that we recognise the damaging implications of many pornographic concepts, understand it as a lingering remnant of a misogynistic culture, and be sure to separate it from our real lives. After all, everyone's entitled to their own fantasy. It's just a case of knowing where that fantasy comes from, and when to stop.

However, the real problem here is the assumption of a show which is empowering for women, distorting it into a male-centric vision of control. As summarised by Hustler, the plot of "This Ain't Girls XXX" follows Hannah as she "decides to forsake men and boyfriend Adam (Richie Calhoun) to experiment with lesbianism. After a few satisfying jaunts she returns to Adam -- and mankind. Adam accepts her back into the fold, but, true to the original show, adds a dominant and quirky dimension to the scene."

Image from Hustler

Of course Hustler would totally reverse the idea of Adam and Hannah's strange dominance/submission style relationship. Whilst in the show, Hannah finds Adam's demands equally amusing and kinky, she submerges herself in the exercise as an exploration of her own sexual preferences, eventually turning the tables by assuming a mildly dominatrix position herself in a bizarre but fun scene.

Conversely it seems that Hustler has taken this kooky relationship to allow Adam to 'accept' Hannah as she returns to 'mankind.' Because of course, it's the role of all-powerful men to decide whether a woman is allowed to choose heterosexuality. In a world where even female homosexuality is based around male pleasure, it is clear that the apparent degradation of a woman leaving a man must be counteracted with the sexual assertion of male dominance, putting the indomitable Hannah back in her place. It's a microcosmic image of the fear of female power and independence which hampered feminism for thousands of years. It's perhaps this which provoked Hustler to convert "Girls," a show focused on female agency and autonomy, into pornography; perhaps the only way they can react to strong women is to reduce them to two-dimensional paragons of male fantasy.

As far as I'm concerned, female objectification will continue to exist in pornography. However, Hustler should never have messed with "Girls." Women have had a rough time with feminism over the last century. We deserve to keep one of the few shows that buck the trend.

Five of the Best: Feel Good Songs

With summer upon us, and deadline day looming, I've been feeling inspired. Partially seeking uplifting motivation after days of library drudgery, and partially preparing my playlists for post-hand in sun drenched days, my iPod has been subject to a reshuffling of feel-good tunes. Whether you need a pick-me-up from revision, or a soundtrack for your summer, here's some of my personal favourites.


Rusted Root: Send me on my Way

Ultimately uplifting, this cheery hippy-esque tune is not only amazingly feel-good, it's also loaded with childhood memories for any self-respecting nineties kid. After all, who could forget Matilda flipping pancakes to the cheery tones of Rusted Root in that classic Roald Dahl film?

Blink 182: All the Small Things

A reminder of the care free days of late 90's pop-punk, the bouncy energy and irreverent humour of Blink 182 is a sure-fire mood lifter. A simple reminder of of the 'small things' in life, jumping around to the whiny vocals of Tom DeLonge is the perfect way of working out stress.

Antsy Pants: Tree Hugger

With a voice as warm and comforting at hot buttered toast on a rainy day, Kimya Dawson uses her typical style of cutesy randomness in this sweet and cheery song. Straight out of a children's story book, turtles who want to fly, and snakes that want to hug cactus' are just some of the folksy musings of this meandering Antsy Pants tune.

Gorillaz: 19/2000 (Soulchild Remix)

Another feat of randomness, this remix of a Gorillaz hit takes a fairly staid song, and brings it up to its quirky and upbeat scratch. Why are they singing about shoes? Is there some kind of message? Who cares; fun and bizarre, this song is the epitome of mindless chirpy tunes.

Smashmouth: All Star

Reminiscent of the cheery escapism of Shrek, this feel good classic is the perfect song for lightening any mood. Sing-along 90's fun, belting out "Hey now! You're a rock star!" is compulsory.

Five of the Best: Bars in York

Everything they tell you about student life is lies. At least towards the end of third year anyway. The booze filled nights of dancing until the sun dawns, the debauchery of house parties that would put Skins to shame, the bar crawls that would leave you struggling to stand by 7pm... all a distant memory. The closest I've managed to get in the last few weeks has been scraping one night out at the local condemned-Chinese-restaurant-cum-disco (surprisingly better than it sounds) and sharing a bottle of wine with my boyfriend whilst watching Britain's Got Talent. More get-slightly-tipsy-and-have-an-early-night than your typical go-hard-or-go-home student life.

So, in the spirit of my recent dry spell, I've decided to reminisce about the glory days of university; those care free nights of freshers year spent sampling the night-life, and the happy evenings as a more seasoned second year reciting local drinks deals like the alphabet.

So for tourists, students and locals alike, here's my go-to guide for the best bars in York. Whether you're looking for a quirky hang out, or picking your watering hole based on the all important Shots of Vodka to Reasonable Price ratio, I present to you five of the best bars in York.

5. THE LOWTHER

Best. Wallpaper. EVER.

The ultimate student hang out, and the prime place for drinks deals, The Lowther has introduced many a Southerner to the up-North love of treble-for-singles. Perhaps not the choice for a quiet drink, The Lowther is the perfect place for large groups of friends to head before hitting the town (although all the body-popping laydeez should note there is no dance floor. However this often won't deter the odd club-eager lass after one too many vodka Vimtos) Recently renovated, the Lowther's dog-breed print wallpaper is an endless source of fascination if the company's not great, whilst the large tables and spacious layout is perfect if it is.

4. TIGER 10
Formerly known as 'The Parish,' this sufficiently snazzy bar is set in a beautifully converted church. Adding a touch of historical class to your evening in an ancient city, you can sip on the cocktail drink deals or the one pound a pop Jagerbombs feeling significantly more classy than your beverage implies. Alternately, slightly more expensive but not unreasonable drinks are on offer for you to enjoy as you take in this unusual modern renovation.

3. STONE ROSES
Themed around indie and alternative music, The Stone Roses is York's definite rock bar. One of the few city establishments to feature live bands, this off-beat venue balances quirky decor, cheapish drinks and a buzzing atmosphere. Another popular student pub, The Stone Roses is also frequented by tourists and locals alike, and is splurged with painted lyrics, pop art prints, and TV's offering mildly amusing musical facts.  (Led Zeppelin, R.E.M and Depeche Mode have not had a number one single between them, while Rihanna has had 10, in case anyone's interested.)

2. THE GOLDEN FLEECE
Featured on 'Most Haunted,' as the sign outside proudly and permanently proclaims, the Golden Fleece is something of a York tourist attraction. Better suited to a daytime drink due to its early closing hours, this historic pub holds host to a range of ghoulish goings on. Most famously haunted by a Canadian airman and a ghostly aristocrat, The Golden Fleece is a little more expensive in terms of drinks, but is worth it for the spooky atmosphere.


1. EVIL EYE LOUNGE
Popular for its classy but cool edge, this quirky bar is entered through its own shop selling all manner of quirky alcohols. This perfectly sets the scene for entering the mystic themed Evil Eye Lounge, a bar set in the centre of York boasting the city's most comprehensive drinks menu. Famous for their fantastic bespoke cocktails, Evil Eye is bizarrely Brazil, Haiti, and Moroccon themed, and mixes incredible and original drinks. At minimum of £5 a drink, it doesn't come cheap, but their cocktails are beautifully adventurous, immensely strong, and served in brilliant surroundings.

Why Curvy Girls Can Wear... Prints

Firstly, apologies for the long absence! Dissertations, essays, and general final-term-of-university stress has got the better of me recently, leaving me with very little blogging time.

Lack of writing hasn't been the only consequence of third year woes-- my bank-balance has also been reeling from the sporadic bursts of retail therapy motivating me through hours in the library. A spate of summer outfits have steadily streaming my wardrobe in anticipation of mythical, post-hand in sun drenched days.

With the greyness of both the university study spaces and the current weather weighing on my mood, my reaction has been to invest in cheering, increasingly gaudy prints. Splurged with colour, my new staple outfits are a rainbow of cartoons and printed cupcakes. As a lover of stand-out pieces, the creativity of prints currently available is perfect for stamping individuality, especially with the quirky cartoon prints of spring setting a trend for stylishly brazen outfits.

However, as every curvy girl will know, prints can be a worse enemy. A veritable minefield, patterns have the unfortunate effect of distorting the figure, the effect of your curves on the design highlighting every lump and bump. With the age-old ferocious warning against stripes ringing in every curvy girl's ears, the motto 'black is slimming' has sent me scurrying for a nice plain dress on many an occasion.

However, the thinking curvy girl can be worry free with jumping on the print-painted bandwagon. The simple tip for achieving a beautiful, flattering look is to avoid all over, busy prints. Teaming a patterned skirt or leggings with a plain top is a perfect way to get in on the trend, making sure any 'worry areas' are covered my a plain item of clothing, offsetting the busy-ness of the print, and solving the problem of nightmarish stretched prints over curves.

I recently purchased these pop-art print leggings from ebay. Garish and over-the-top, they require teaming with a plain top. I chose a long, black vest top to cover up the print around my mid section.

My other great print purchase lately has been this gorgeous skirt from Cameo Rose at New Look. Having lusted after its bodycon counterpart, regretfully acknowledging that I simply can't carry off tight prints, I was delighted to discover a skater skirt version. Flared out, the effect of prints on my shape isn't a problem, and it's nipped in waist is ultimately flattering. Furthermore, the skirt is truly gorgeous, and incredibly elaborate.

So here's a few of my recommendations for carrying off a curvy print look:

1. For an all-over print, go for one that is simple, sparse and non-geometric; busy prints will show off any lumps and bumps A black background is perfect to create a more streamlined shape. This Boohoo cartoon print dress, worn with spanx, would be perfect.

April cartoon print bodycon dress, £12, Boohoo

2. Geometric prints are ultimately unflattering, but you can still get in on the monochrome trend for checks and stripes. Choose a skater skirt which will flare out over your curves, or accentuate the curves you want to show off with a crop top and plain, high waisted skirt (don't forget to check out my earlier blog for more crop-top advice! http://what-katieb-did.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/why-curvy-girls-can-wear-crop-tops.html )

Geometric Print Skater Skirt, £28, River Island

Ellin vertical stripe monochrome crop top, ASOS, £8.99

3. For the more adventurous fashionista, wide-leg trousers are a good way to get on board with the craze for global prints. Hiding a multitude of sins, these should be worn with a plain, fairly tight top to avoid looking frumpy.

Eastern Print wide-leg trousers, Topshop, £48

Things I Learned from being a Book Geek

Having spent countless hours engulfed in well-leafed paperbacks, from the very first garishly shaded Ladybird Classics, to the American teenage dramatics of Sweet Valley High and the more mature reads of adult life, it’s fair to say that my perception has always been somewhat skewed by the ever-climatic experiences of a book geek.

For a teenager more familiar with the man-chasing antics of Austen’s Mrs Bennett than actual boys, or a ten year old with aspirations for a jolly-hockeysticks Mallory Towers-esque education rather than the local comprehensive, life for me was always going to be one wistfully guided by the books  that surrounded it. Life lessons aplenty poured forth from the novels that navigated my growing pains, first love and transitions into adulthood. Unfortunately for me, most of them turned out to be wildly inaccurate, and even bordering on the bizarre.

And so, in an elaborate attempt to procrastinate in the midst of dissertation writing, I’ve compiled a list of the things my (almost) 21 years as a self-confessed book geek have taught me. Some accurate life-lessons, some plain ridiculous twaddle, but all rewarding and entertaining in their own imperfect way.

What not to expect

The big loves are the best (but they don’t always work out)
Romeo and Juliet, Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler, Cathy and Heathcliff. The very best knee-trembling, tear-jerking, hear-pounded loves in fiction come complete with passion, bodice ripping and proclamations of undying love. The great lovers of literature are destined to be together, bound by some instant and unrelenting force set to send the reader taking a sidelong glance at the less than romantic back-of-a-crowded-bar introduction with their own boyfriend with a little less gusto than before.

However, the real crux to these all-consuming roller-coaster rides of relationships is that they never really hold up. The dizzying highs are always countered by devastating lows, and the couples’ love lives are more tumultuous than Taylor Swift’s dating catalogue. With the majority of these affairs ending up in abandonment, misery, and- more often than not- death, Ben and Jerry’s and a nice rom-com with the boyfriend isn’t looking quite so staid now, is it?

It’s OK to have a few angsty teenage years...

Me, reliving my teenage Goth years...

 As any good lit geek or emo will tell you, the book business is not one for shirking around teenage angst. Giving generations of angry adolescents firing power for the hormone soaked years between 13 and 19, classic “The Catcher in the Rye” told us that it’s OK to mope around a bit in those tricky secondary school days. With “Perks of Being a Wallflower” taking a more modern slant, we all now know that finding yourself, sulking, and existential wonderings are an integral part of our teenage years, and should be treated as such.

...Or live the all-American teenage dream

...and pretending to be All-American.
Fancy-dress is a wonderful thing.

Spending my early teenage years engrossed by the go-get-‘em Babysitters Club, the summer camp adventures of Marcy Lewis, and the Princess Diaries’ dream of my Dad turning out to be the king of a small European country, the light literature of American teen fiction taught me that life was going to be a happy parade of s’mores, friendly communities, and the light tribulations of whether to let your boyfriend go to second-base (without having any idea what ‘second-base’ actually entailed.)

Although sadly inaccurate, it’s still nice to occasionally sink back into the delusional promises of the US teen scene, and pretend that my looming final hand-in is no more pressing than what I would wear if I had a Homecoming Dance.

 “Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die”
Since sex sells, it’s always been a bit of a contention in literature. Whilst Chaucer indulged his bizarre tendency to turn sex into a never-ending opportunity to create apparently hilarious pranks, the Victorians warned us of the terrible consequences of enjoying a bit of rough and tumble. (Pretty much always resulting in death, if you’re interested.) And now with 50 Shades of Grey advocating a spanking paddle as the real key to all-over life fulfilment, and the ever-growing trend for giving classics saucy “mummy porn” make-overs, literature just can’t seem to make its mind up.

Something which books do never-endingly tell us, however, is that sex is a BIG DEAL, a veritable life-changer, and must be treated as such. Another valiant, and not entirely accurate, word from the world of books which has probably left many a teenager pretty terrified. Now where’s my copy of “Jane Eyre gets bare”?

Not everyone gets a happy ending
I’ll still never forget the sheer horror with which I laid down Birdsong the first time I read it aged 11. Deaths of wonderful characters, dizzying romances sunk into banality, and unexpected reconciliations, Faulk’s most famed novel is beautiful, yet uncompromising. And it certainly wasn’t the first I was to come across. The painful injustice in To Kill a Mockingbird, the bruising finality of Atonement, Dumbledore dying in Harry Potter...

Literature has an incredible power to reveal that the truth about life is that there really is no truth. It is characterised by stories without morals, questions without answers, and endings that are not happy. But it also teaches us about the beauty that lies behind it all, and that glinting possibility, that just perhaps, ours might be the happy ending that comes out of it.

The Steubenville Rape case: A Shocking Picture of Modern Sexism

It seems sadly appropriate that no sooner had I published my last blog post, lamenting sites where women are objectified and dehumanised, that the disgustingly sexist coverage of the recent Steubenville rape case hit the headlines.

Sentenced to a mere one and two years respectively in a juvenile correction facility, Trent Mays and Ma'lik Richmond were found guilty of rape after performing sex acts on an intoxicated sixteen year old girl at and between a series of parties last August. Perhaps most disturbing was the ugly influence of social media, with images of the naked victim being circulated, a friend of the defendants tweeting "Song of the night is definitely 'Rape Me' by Nirvana," and Mays even texting "Yeah dude, she was like a dead body. I just needed some sexual attention."

The group mentality of the crime is truly frightening. At least three other teenagers, who provided eyewitness testimony, were present at the time of the assault, with a third party even filming the attack.

This event is just another worrying hint that the "lad" culture is going too far. Just earlier this week when discussing my latest blog, I was asked "Do you really think that people who joke about rape actually think it's OK?" Well apparently some of them do. The shockingly cavalier attitudes of the rapists and the friends who stood by and watched are a horrific indictment of a certain male culture, where drunkenness, promiscuity, or manner of dress make women acceptable targets for assault. Perhaps used to misogynistic attitudes particularly pervading in an internet driven world, the defendants saw no problem tweeting a photo of the passed out naked girl, or even posting a video where the friends joked about the attacks.

Worryingly, recent evidence suggests that even the defendants football coach knew about the rape, hiding information so that his 'star players' football careers weren't threatened. Apparently in this shockingly anti-woman case, the hobbies of two rapists were more important than protecting a minor. In fact, it seems a wide proportion of the Steubenville community were aware of the case via its mocking coverage through social-media, and were involved in a kind of cover-up; the case was not brought to court until blogging group Anonymous independently collected evidence and campaigned for justice for the victim. Before this, an apparent reverence for these local football heroes prevented any real progress getting them prosecuted.

These horrific attitudes have continued into national media, with CNN lamenting the threatened futures of the defendants in a recent broadcast, and pitying them for their inclusion on the Sex Offenders Register, a move which will help protect other women from becoming victims.

The Steubenville Rape case has become a tragic illustration of how dangerous modern sexist attitudes really can be. Just a glance at the YouTube comments section on this video says it all: "if you dress like a slut your chances of getting raped increase," asserts one user, whilst another suggests that the victim should have had better "personal accountability" by "not sexualising one's self by dressing in a mini skirt and inviting unecessary, unwanted, and uninvited attention." This assumption is in spite of all images of the victim, included her clothing, being heavily pixelated.

People may say that modern misogyny is harmless, and even a joke, but the Steubenville rape case has shown otherwise. As long as these attitudes exist, they have the ability to invade reality, and horrifically distort the reactions, and thus access to justice, of bystanders, the legal system and the media.

Student Sexism: The REAL Problem of the "Lad Culture."

As an avid reader of Glamour mag and (mostly) hardworking student, one article in particular caught my eye last month.

"Is this what it takes to get a degree?" screamed the stark headline, plastered against a background of women in tiny outfits. "You expected wild night at uni." the byline continues "But what about being pressured to strip and called a slut? When did that become OK? GLAMOUR investigates the rise of campus sexism-- and what it means for women everywhere."

Writer Elizabeth Day certainly does a good job of exploring the darker side of university sexism. Citing the "lad" culture every student is familiar with, Day bemoans sex-act simulation at sporting initiations, degrading fancy-dress themes and provocative night-club games. "The breed of sexism on show is darker, more endemic and more troubling than ever before," Day tells us adding that modern university life displays "a misogynistic campus culture that's got seriously out of hand."

And sadly, Day is not far off the mark. Although she seems to miss the fact that the sexist culture depicted is only really associated with certain, often sport based, spheres of university life, Day is spot on for much of the article. Far from being a place where women are respected for their equal intellectual abilities, a disappointing amount of male-female social interaction at University is based around the unfortunate "lad vs slag" dichotomy. In a befitting patriarchal twist, the "slut culture" is characterised only in opposition to the "lad culture." And it really is a feud where women are both enemy and victim.

This frightening trend is most apparent on sadly popular site www.unilad.com. Discussing one-night stands, a recent article boasts "by the time the DJ slips on Kings of Leon, most lads will have bought enough double-vodka-redbulls to convince some skank in a short skirt that engaging in a bit of a naughty snog on the dance floor is a great idea." It then launches into advice on how to prevent said girl staying the night, suggesting getting it over and done with before actually getting home. "Asking if you can slip a few fingers in first might help you figure out whether she’s a good candidate for taxi sex. If she manages to keep quiet but likes it then get her on top and get going so you can drop her off before she figures out your address." Uni Lad recommends. How hard you need to work on an excuse depends "on whether your bird has standards and how horny she is."

"Uni Lad" Logo

Horrifically objectified, in this "lad" culture, women are set up in a strange paradoxical state as both objects of desire and the enemy who serve no other function other than sexual, and thus become an embarrassing problem as soon as they have fulfilled this role. Disturbingly, Uni Lad followers have even responded to feminist protests with comments like "shows why we shouldn't allow wenches to be educated" after the site landed itself in hot water for its description of rape as "surprise sex."

Now, of course I'm not saying that this is representative of University life as a whole. Throughout my time as a student I've met plenty of interesting, respectful men, and have a lot of male friends. However, unfortunately the extremity of the misogynistic "Uni Lad" culture frequently returns university social structures into a primitive state of male/female separation whereby the primary function of interaction is sexual. Although many see Uni Lad as a joke, or that most mitigating of all things, "banter," unfortunately the extremity of Uni Lad is merely an elevated version of pervading misogynistic attitudes across the higher education social structure.

However, the real problem is not just university-based; the causes of student sexism go much deeper. Sites like "True Lad" and project "Everyday Sexism" show that sadly, this culture is widespread. Away from home for the first time, and in a strange pseudo-reality where the impression you make on people you meet doesn't impact your professional life, University is merely the ideal festering-ground for already heavily present patriarchal attitudes.

"Pimps and Hoes" themes instantly put men in power over the sexualised female

Away from the influence of family and in an environment where there are no serious repercussions for sexism, misogyny is given the perfect opportunity to flourish. The University lifestyle which advocates excessive partying and casual sex also means that men don't find it necessary to show women the respect necessary in most areas of society for developing a functional relationship, as girlfriends are highly incompatible with the ideals of the Uni Lad.

Most of the problems raised by Day's article henceforth stem from this culture; as men both encourage for their own gain, yet simultaneously deplore and mock female promiscuity and revealing clothes, both women and university night-life come to cater to this strange desire, with "slutty" or patriarchal themes, such as 'Pimps and Hoes' or 'Slag and Drag' being defined by the simple pre-requisite that women should dress as a mythical stereotype of female sexuality. This elevates everyday-misogyny from childish web-pages into the mainstream, increasingly redefining the uni social space as one divided by the binaries of the slut/lad culture; instantly a vicious circle promoting an ugly brand of sexism is created.

Ultimately, I too have partaken in the odd pimps-and-hoes fancy dress, and even seen it as a bit of harmless fun. But what's important not to forget is the danger of the underlying attitudes which have made these events so popular. Campus sexism that promotes a culture where women are viewed primarily in light of their sexual capacity, or how they look, is a sad twist for educated females, taking us back to a pre-feminist era which simply shouldn't be in play in the twenty-first century.

10 TV shows that will take over your life

Made In Chelsea

10. Made In Chelsea
Pseudo-reality television set in the playground of the rich and famous, Made in Chelsea is a juicy, drama filled TV treat. Filled with panning shots of expensive cocktails, glamorous venues, and designer dresses, Made in Chelsea is a show more made for lusting after the stars swish London pads and never ending supply of champagne than for actual storylines, but it's the ultimate in gossipy escapist television.

9. Supernatural
If you're a fan of old-school horror, action, mystery and gorgeous men, Supernatural is the show for you. The story of two demon-fighting, monster-hunting, ghost-busting brothers, Supernatural uses urban legends to propel its fantasically gothic plot forward. With each episode largely self-contained, with a few major revelations along the way, Supernatural is an easy one to dip and delve into.

New Girl

8. New Girl
The cutest sitcom around, New Girl is hilarious feel-good viewing. Currently on season three, the programme is a wry sidelook at male-female relationships, picking up when a downtrodden Jessica Day moves in with three male flatmates after a break up. Although generally a great programme, New Girls main appeal largely lies in Zooey Deschanel's starring role. Cute, quirky and awkward, Zooey makes Jess one of the most lovable and funny TV characters around.

7. How I Met Your Mother
Now in it's eighth year, this slow burning show is based around unlucky-in-love protagonist Ted Moseby narrating in excruciating detail the events that led up to him meeting the mother of his children. Although perhaps now a little stretched out, How I Met Your Mother is full of heartwarming stories of friendship and relationships in easily digestable 20 minute chunks. Extremely easy to watch, getting caught up in the life of these New Yorkers is inevitable.

Breaking Bad

6. Breaking Bad
Multi-award winning drama Breaking Bad opens with the main character, Chemistry teacher Walter White, being diagnosed with terminal cancer. However, don't let this less than cheery premise put you off. Often dark and beautifully written, the subsequent story of how Walt teams up with one of his former students to cook and sell meth is original, absorbing and thought-provoking. Although the show loses momentum somewhat a few seasons in, meaning I'm still working my way through it, it's well worth a watch.

Prison Break

5. Prison Break
Ultimately addictive, Prison Break is another dark yet extremely intelligent drama. Set in the fascinating world of American high-security prisons, Prison Break is the story of two brothers, one sentenced to death for a crime he didn't commit, and another who has purposely ended up in prison as part of an elaborate scheme to free his brother. Unfortunately, the genius of this show tails off in the second season, which features the escapees after the planned break, but the first season still remains unmissable television.


 4. Girls
Girls isn't just a TV show; it's a way of life. Starkly honest and hilarious, Girls follows a group of 20-something graduates struggling to find their way through adulthood in New York. Although the second season has been a little underwhelming following the groundbreaking realism of the first season, Girls still remains one of the most genuine TV shows I've encountered. For a full review check out my previous blog, 'GIRLS just wanna have fun' http://what-katieb-did.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/girls-just-wanna-have-fun.html

3. Gossip Girl
Although primarily pitched towards teenage girls, Gossip Girl is still one of my feel-good TV faves. Wrapping up last summer after six spectacular seasons, Gossip Girl follows super wealthy Manhattan teens, taking off in their senior year of high school. Bitchy, gossipy and addictive, Gossip Girl is a veritable feast of twists and drama, centering around love, family and friendship. Even better, the fantastic wardrobe department serves up a myriad of lust-worthy designer outfits, making the show almost worth a watch for its fashion credentials alone.

Gossip Girl

2. Game of Thrones
Fantasy TV at its very finest, HBO show Game of Thrones' upcoming third season is currently the most anticipated event of my month. Set in the fictional continents Westeros  and Essos, Game of Thrones is a medieval-esque epic about warring dynasties battling for the control of the legendary Iron Throne. The noble families of seven kingdoms are followed in an endlessly complex plot which tackles history, fantasy, family, sexuality and high drama in its tension rich script.

Game of Thrones

Lost

1. Lost
Probably the most addictive TV show around, Lost takes the typical marooned-on-a-desert-island script to new levels of brilliance. After opening with a plane crash, expect an insane number of twists that totally transports the show beyond its original premise. Perfectly interspersing scenes of island life with flashbacks of the characters post-crash life, Lost strikes a perfect balance between the challenges and dynamics of island life, and an entirely imaginative slant; as the series progresses, mysterious monsters, bizarre mythology and science fiction are presented with stunning realism. Although belief must be somewhat suspended for later seasons, when time traveling kicks in, by this point you'll be hooked enough to absorb every revelation the programme throws at you.

Why Curvy Girls Can Wear Crop Tops

Living in the depths of Yorkshire, sunshine becomes something of a rarity in the winter months. After weeks of dreary weather and having neatly packaged away my summer wardrobe (admittedly mainly the same as my winter wardrobe but without thick tights) I had given up hope of venturing out in anything less than three layers until at least after Easter.

And yet this week, good old British weather surprised us all by showing us the sun. Admittedly it barely hit 10 degrees Celsius, but this didn't stop us emerging bleary eyed from our darkened rooms, blinking in the unexpected light and dashing to find the nearest bit of grass to perch on.

I even made the rookie error of racing into my hallway in a floor length chiffon skirt and jumper before being hastily reprimanded by my housemate for my over-enthusiasm and sent back to change into a sensible jeans and hoodie combo.

However, a quick restyle later, and I was eagerly diving onto my computer to see what I needed to scour ebay for in preparation for a now surely imminent premature summer. And one trend seemed to keep coming up; a phrase that makes the curvy girls heart sink: crop top.

Now, I love crop tops. Oddly 80/90s retro, a well worn crop top is sexy, fun and on-trend. But here's the problem: well-worn requires washboard abs and a pancake-flat tummy, no exceptions. At a size 12 to 14, the stratospheric rise of the crop top had me enviously eyeing up my friends last summer as I stuck to my dip-hems and securely tucked-in blouses.

That was until an impromptu night out a few weeks ago. Raiding my fashion conscious friends wardrobe, I was more than a little dubious when a long leopard print skirt and tiny top were suggested.

As soon as I put it on, I loved it. Hoisting the skirt up much higher than my size-8 friend would, only a tiny sliver of the slimmest part of my waist was revealed, house-of-mirrors style trickery that if anything made me look much smaller than a curves-covering top would have done.

Truly high-waisted bottoms are the secret to bringing curvy-girls and crop tops together. Whilst the more daring amongst us can flash a few inches of stomach, skirts and shorts can be worn so high that all is covered whilst still getting in on a fashion-friendly trend. It's the tip how-to-wear guides featuring boob tubes with low slung trousers and barely-there skirts simply don't pick up on, unfailingly flashing reams of flesh on super skinny girls.
                                         

So here's a few of the best outfits to flatter the curvy crop.

Lace Bardot Crop Top, £18, Topshop

 Midi Skirt with Pleats, £28, ASOS

                

For a beautiful retro vibe, a 50s style lacy crop top and chiffon midi skirt is perfect. Pull the skirt up a little higher than pictured and prepare to bring vintage summer style back. Remember that fitted crop tops are fine, but always go for a larger size; too tight crops are ultimately unflattering.

Kainda Wet Look Box Pleat Skater Skirt, £15.99, Missguided

Cream Floral Bralet, £9.95, Moda Chiara

Flared and high waisted, skater skirts are a wardrobe staple of any curvy girl. Due to how flattering the flared style is, you may be able to get away with a bralet, but a tshirt style crop top will work just as well. Wet-look skater skirts are currently bang on trend, and contrast brilliantly with girly floral prints.

Maddie Midi Length Tube Skirt, £8, Boohoo

Caviar Bead Mesh Top, £26, Topshop

If you're carrying extra weight up top, a tight, midi length skirt allows for you to a hide a multitude of sins by going baggier on the top half. Overlap the crop top and the skirt for a multi-purpose fashionable yet flattering look. However, be careful when deciding if a tight midi skirt is for you, as they do tend to show up all your lumps and bumps.

Remember: fashion's not just for skinny girls, and curvy ladies deserve summer fun too! Always throw away the catwalk manual; getting away with trends is all about adjusting looks to focus on your best bits.

                                              
                            

10 Reasons to be Happy

February. It’s a dismal time of year. A grey procession of melting snow and endless drizzle, topped only by the return of January exams and Christmas essays, without even the looming promise of summer to get you through.

So after a particularly dreary week I decided a pick-me-up was well and truly needed. Whilst I would normally turn to the fleeting pleasures of internet shopping and New Girl re-runs to lighten my mood, this time something more enlightening was required.

“Happiness is a choice.” I bleated to my down-in-the-dumps housemate earlier today after a cold and uni stress had got the better of her.

And that’s when I realised. I wasn’t just parroting Cosmo’s You You You section; happiness really is a choice. Yes, we can’t all decide whether we land our dream job, date our dream guy or have our dream life. But we can decide whether to be happy with what we’ve got.

So here it goes: my ten reasons and ways to be happy; a sort-of definitive, and mostly tried-and-tested route to a cheerier day. It may not change your life, but here’s hoping it perks up your afternoon.

1. It’s all About the Little Things

Hot baths, a good book, a glass of wine with friends. Maybe even something as little as finding a new lipstick in the exact shade you were looking for, or catching up on your feel-good TV programme.

Life is all about the little surprises and occurrences that brighten your day, and focusing on how something small makes you temporarily happy and fulfilled is the first step to being happy. Every day presents you with a hundred new chances to do something you enjoy, so seize it, and truly love and appreciate the tiny things that make you smile.

2. The World Is Your Oyster

When things aren’t quite going the way you’d always planned (skipping into your dream job straight after graduation anyone?) it’s easy to feel lost. Getting caught up in a spiral of wailing about how my fate clearly lies in moving back in with my parents and working at ASDA forever to anyone who’ll listen is one of my current tics, and clearly it’s easy to forget that your future is what you make it.

True, we can’t always have total control over what career we get, or where we end up, but there are still lots of things we can decide. When the next few years are looking a bit hazy, remember that whether you spend this time wallowing in doubt or looking forward to this new openness is completely down to you.

Dream, plan and travel; maybe you won’t end up doing all the things you want to, but be aware how many possibilities are open to you. Looking forward to the things you can achieve, and maybe even doing a few of them, is the ultimate mood and life lifting experience.

Girls Party Holiday in Zante may not be life-changing travelling but it's close enough!

3.Make the Most of what you’ve got

First World Problems. They’re the hilarious stuff of memes and tweets everywhere, where the privileged get a chance to satirically whine about the problem between finding the perfect balance between a fan and an electric blanket, or how they don’t have the newest iphone.

Whilst most of us are probably guilty of sniggering at the odd non-issue, few of us take the time to consider how much insignificant our own worries are. Chasing after our ideal image of life, it’s easy to get upset when things aren’t quite living up to our lofty expectations.

At times like this, it’s important to take account of the things you do have. Your friends, your family, your education, your health. All factors that not everyone is lucky enough to possess. So next time you get caught up in your hapless love-life or imperfect grades, remember the things you do have, and take the time to make the most of them.

4. Live the Life you Love

Your parents, your teachers, even the media. Everyone seems to have an idea of how your life should be going. The kind of career you should be suited to, the kind of person you should be with, the kind of route your life should take. Most people’s lives quickly become a construction of the expectations of others as soon as they’re old enough to be influenced.

Make sure you frequently take a step back from your life and question your own motives. Maybe what you really want to do is travel instead of diving straight into the rat race. Maybe you want to drop the playing-it-safe life path and take the time to attempt something people said you could never achieve. So what’s stopping you?

One of my best friends recently did a complete u-turn, dropping her applications for a cut-throat city career she’s always planned to apply to be a maths teacher, and she’s never seemed happier or more fulfilled. Make sure the reasons you’re doing something are genuine. You only get one chance at this, so take your own chances, not someone else’s.

5. Surround yourself with the People who Care

Sometimes a friend who gets your sense of humour is all you need...

Seems obvious, but it’s one we all sometimes need reminding of. No one will lift your mood more than a good friend who’s genuinely concerned by your problems, and better yet, no one will offer greater advice. And if not advice, then at least a large glass of wine and a few episodes of Snog Marry Avoid.

6. Happiness is Now

One of my pet-hates is people who make themselves miserable in pursuit of some mythical future where everything will be ecstatically perfect. True, at times we have to sacrifice a fancy-free party lifestyle in order to get where we want to be, but you never have to sacrifice your happiness.

Want to know a secret? Nobody is unremittingly happy. Even if you end up with your dream lifestyle, everyone has down days and up days, and most importantly, being unhappy now won’t make it any better when you get there. So stop wasting your time ‘looking forward’ to the day you’re married with a six-figure salary, and start looking forward to now.

This is how happy new shoes make me

7. Therapy Comes in All Forms

And perhaps most importantly, in the form of retail. OK, so this may be hopelessly materialistic, and I’m certainly not saying that a brand new LBD is the secret to a perfect life. All I’m saying is that there’s always shoes. This is my therapy; find yours. There’ll always be something silly and inconsequential which will become your fail-safe pick-me-up no matter what life throws at you, and if you can work out whether platforms or heels would go best with that new maxi skirt, sometimes the big problems can wait.

8. You are the Key to your Own Happiness

When true unhappiness hits, the kind that makes you not want to crawl out of bed and causes you to question yourself, remember this: the only person who can make a difference to yourself is you. We all have times when we’re truly unhappy with ourselves; the choices we’ve made, the way we live our lives-- and it’s a truly nasty feeling. But you’re lucky and powerful enough to be able to act on it.

Hit the gym for some feel good endorphins, read or listen to something that is beautiful and opens your mind, put your passion into practice and blog or start a band. You are the person who gets to decide who you are, the things you know and do, and the life you live. Make the most of it. 

9. Today is Another Day

Every day is a new opportunity to be happy. Start today.

10. You Are Alive

The world is a beautiful, incredible place. All the things you want or that would make you happy are out there; you just have to find them.

Always remember: happiness isn’t about what you have, it’s about what you make of it. Have a very cheery day!