However, although I'm the first to dive into a feminist scrap, I've noticed lately a certain wave of what I like to term 'judgmental feminism.'
Now I'm undeniably a girly girl. I'm rarely seen in jeans, I love Made in Chelsea, and I've got enough barely-walkable-in heels to put Lady Gaga to shame. Does this mean I don't advocate sexual equality? Of course not. Yet more often than once I've had my Mum role her eyes at my occasionally questionable TV choices and ask 'I thought you were supposed to be a feminist...'
Here's the thing people seem to be missing: feminism is about choice and self respect. Yes, I quite enjoy watching Take Me Out, but it doesn't mean I'm planning to strap a light to me and bleat 'No Likey, No Lighty!' at unsuspecting men on nights out, and it certainly doesn't mean I'm going to judge way other women might want to seek a partner in a fun, albeit slightly questionable way.
This wouldn't be concerning me so much were it not for recent debate concerning wonderful advocate of women's rights Caitlin Moran.
The beauty of Moran's funny and intelligent book 'How to be a Woman' is that it does exactly the opposite of what it says on the tin. In the least judgmental way possible it doesn't tell you a thing about how to be a woman. It shares Moran's hilarious experiences of adulthood, with the message which I believe encapsulates feminism in its truest sense: being a woman is about being exactly who you want to be without feeling that society wants you to be any other way because of your gender. Want to have a baby? Do it. Don't want to? Then don't, and don't let anyone make you feel like you should. Never feel like having a bikini wax is normal and expected, but equally, never say no if it's what you want.
Although not exactly groundbreaking, Moran's bought her fundamental philosophy "a) Do you have a vagina? and b) Do you want to be in charge of it? If you said 'yes' to both, then congratulations! You're a feminist” to women scared off feminism by incredibly misplaced modern conceptions of feminists as quinoa munching, braless cat-ladies. Moran acknowledges that some of us need a gentle reminder that if you don't want to be "giving birth on the kitchen floor - biting down on a wooden spoon, so as not to disturb the men’s card game - before going back to quick-liming the dunny" you ARE a feminist.
However, unfortunately, there seems to be a great deal of judgmental feminism being angrily directed at Moran. Snobbily termed as a book rebranding feminism for the 'wag generation' by reviewers, How to be a Woman attracted a review which particularly drew my attention by Meghan Murphy.
http://rabble.ca/books/reviews/2013/01/trouble-me-me-me-feminism-review-vagina-and-how-be-woman
'It's not all about you!' Murphy smugly states before launching into a rant which, oddly, seems to be all about her. Slamming Moran's beliefs on pornography (pro, but needing changes in order to wipe out the often patriarchal nature of it) Murphy declares that this is an almost unbelievable oversimplification. Murphy seems to be pretty firm about her opinion that pornography is WRONG and that altered or not, it isn't something feminists should be enjoying.
Admittedly, I realise pornography can be a problematic area. Yes it can be partriarchal and yes some of it is anti-women. And of course I would never encourage anyone to support an industry which represents the objectification of women to be a normal thing. However, there is also pornography out there which does not do this, and if a woman enjoys something which allows her to explore her sexuality, and everyone involved is a consenting adult, what's the problem?
Unfortunately, Murphy seems to have missed the major point of Moran's opinions, and the bottom line of feminism in general. It's about the right to choose, and nobody (that includes you Murphy) has the right to tell a woman what she can and can't do when it comes to her body and her sexual choices. Would anyone be shocked if a male journalist said that they think pornography's OK? Of course not!
In fact, in a 2011 GQ article, a male writer admitted to loving female hating hardcore pornography made by a pornographer convicted of obscenity charges. Yes, he admitted to feeling shame at his pleasure, but also gleefully discusses pornography depicting men having sex with unconsenting sleeping women, adding: "Sleeping-girl porn was almost peaceful; she's having a nap. She's catching a few z's. Heck—she's Sleeping Beauty!"
http://www.gq.com/news-politics/mens-lives/201111/hardcore-porn-obsession-morality-shalom-auslander
Furthermore, despite his admission that he knew enjoying this type of porn warrants a slight notion of guilt, GQ failed to include this in their marketing of the piece, adding the by-line: "Threesomes, fishnets, dirty talk—those are the vanilla sorts of fantasies we admit to. Then there's the truly filthy porn we actually watch when we're alone. Shalom Auslander discovers that everyone has his guiltiest pleasure." Interesting that Murphy slams Moran yet has nothing to say about the male perspective. Feminism? I think not.
People are forgetting the true meaning of feminism. Distracted by angry feminist stereotypes or constructing an archetypal woman that anyone who defines themselves as feminists is supposed to be, Moran's critics are forgetting one very important thing: tell a woman how she should think and act and you're no better than the patriarchy that got us here in the first place.
So let's all take a leaf out of Moran's wonderful book. Be yourself, and don't let anyone, especially judgmental feminist, tell you any different.
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